Posts tagged World Wrestling Entertainment

♫Edgenesday Night Turmoil’s opening video♫ «< click to watch) plays and on this day of August 1^st we come to you Live from Johnson City, Tennessee. Jim Ross and William Regal are on commentary and they introduce us to the program by reminding us what happened to conclude last week’s Turmoil. It was CM Punk versus new KWF World Champion Chris Jericho in the main event and while that match was a slobberknocker, Kurt Angle came to intrude and cost CM Punk the match. Chris Jericho opportunistically capitalized and Kurt was satisfied that Punk lost. Tonight here in the Freedom Hall Civic Center the comms tell us that AJ Styles and Rob Van Dam are in the building. JR: “Those two men were screwed out of the KWF Title at our anniversary pay-per-view Sovereignty 4.” Regal: “Now come on Jim. They weren’t screwed. Chris Jericho simply cashed in his Money in the Bank. He was allowed to – because that’s what Money in the Bank entitles you to do. Styles and Van Dam weren’t on Turmoil last week because they beat each other up far too much during the TLC match at Sovereignty. They were victims of circumstance, nothing more. And anyway, Chris Jericho is a fine World Champion in my eyes.”

As the comms continue their World Championship discussion, we hear ♫the music of Kurt Angle♫ «< click to play) and the Olympic Gold Medalist comes to the ring. JR and Regal tell that Edge announced via KWF Blogs Twitter yesterday that Angle would be opening the show tonight. He’s booed upon his entrance, but he takes no notice of the fans as he awaits his opponent. Regal: “Well, who is it?”… The arena goes dark and from the roof we see a giant disco-ball lowered to hover above the ring. Disco lights begin to shine around the Freedom Hall Civic Center and we hear a voice of a Chick introducing the “Only living, rompin’ stompin’ Funkasaurus in captivity; Mister Brodusss Claayyyy!” Regal: “Jesus Christ.” From what we can see of Kurt Angle in the shadows, he doesn’t look at all pleased as we hear ♫Funk is on a roll, Funk is on a roll…♫ «< click to play) out comes Naomi, out comes Cameron and they’re dancing and swinging their arms as they are then joined by the Funkadelic Brodus Clay! The crowd cheer, chant and dance as Brodus and his Funkadactylls make their way to the ring. They entertain the audience as Regal tells that Kurt Angle must be livid that Clay’s his opponent. JR: “But why? Brodus has every right to compete in the opening bout on KWF Blogs and these fans love him.” Regal: “Oh don’t you get it Jim!? Kurt Angle told Edge that he was the one that should’ve main evented Turmoil last week against Chris Jericho. The match was given to CM Punk after Punk defeated Angle at Sovereignty 4. So Angle does what Angle does best, he takes what he wants and takes the spotlight completely away from CM Punk last week. And this, this is how Edge, our General Manger treats an Olympian?! This is an outrage for goodness sake. I mean, you can’t seriously tell me that Brodus blimmin’ Clay is adequate competition for Kurt Angle. God, what a joke.” Brodus completes his entrance and we get set for Live action here on Turmoil.

Kurt Angle vs. Brodus Clay

The bell rings and Angle goes to swipe at Brodus’ leg, but the Funkasaurus is too big and too heavy. Brodus just stands there and smiles as he jiggles his body. Angle backs up and takes this as a mark of disrespect. He gets up in Clay’s face and mouths off, but Clay shoves Kurt right down to his backside. Angle gets up and he complains to the referee. We hear him via camera mic as he tells the ref that this isn’t a side-show, it’s a professional wrestling match. The referee tells him: “Then wrestle!” and we watch as Kurt Angle backs up, refocuses and then locks it up with Clay. Now we’re down to business and we watch as Kurt gets Clay in a side-headlock and he tries to squeeze the air out of Brodus’ head. Clay pushes him against the ropes and when he comes back, Angle is shoulder-barged hard to the canvas. The crowd cheer as Clay jiggles once more. He goes to drop an elbow, but Angle moves out the way and Clay eats canvas. Angle is fast as he then pounces on Clay’s back, putting a sleeper on him while he’s grounded. Clay is like a big Ox and he manages to get to his feet with Angle on his back. Clay then moves backward in attempts to get Angle off him, but instead Kurt steps up the turnbuckles and modifies the sleeper into a rear naked choke. Regal: “A fantastic move. What a superb ringmaster Kurt Angle is.” JR: “Indeed that was impressive, but the move is now illegal, Brodus Clay has his hands on the ropes.” The referee relays this to Angle, but he doesn’t let go of the move. Clay then decides to take matters back in his hands and he amazingly lifts Angle over himself and flips the Olympian to slam flat on his back. The crowd chant and cheer as Clay shakes off the cobwebs. He backs up the turnbuckles and perches himself atop the top buckle. The Funkadactylls cheer at ringside, but the moment of glory is short lived as Angle is back to his feet and he runs up the buckles to perform an arm drag and he lifts Clay from off the buckles and all the way down to the canvas. An expertly administered move and Angle now takes down his straps, we know this signals for the Ankle Lock and there it is! Angle hooks it on Clay right in the middle of the ring. The crowd boo, but Clay is strong as he turns to his back and boots Angle off. Both men get up and Clay tries to headbutt an oncoming Kurt but he stumbles into thin air because Angle’s too fast and Kurt turns under and to the side of Clay to clutch him and lift him over and round, down to the canvas for an Angle Slam! He covers hooking a leg; that’s One! That’s Two! And Three! Kurt Angle wins it.

Winner: Kurt Angle.

The match is over and Angle immediately asks for a microphone. He demands his music be cut off and he then directs everyone’s attention toward the General Manager’s Skybox. Edge is there watching and Kurt tells him that he’s not going to get past what happened at Sovereignty 4. “I’ve taken into account what you said Edge and the way I see it, the score is 1-1 between me and CM Punk. You see he lost Edge. He lost our original match 2-1 to me, the only Olympic Gold Medalist in Professional Wrestling history. But then, then Punk got lucky. He was lucky that I granted him Five Falls and he was lucky that he walked away as victor. So the way I see it, I won the 2-1 match and Punk won the 3-2 match. So I’m going to forgive you for putting me in this opening bout with Brodus, Edge. I’ll forgive you if put me and Punk in a match again… at SummerSlam!” Edge has a mic in his Skybox and he tells Kurt that he doesn’t give two hoots whether Kurt Angle forgives him or not. “But, I do see your point Kurt. It is 1-1 between you and Punk. Therefore a match between the two of you will happen at SummerSlam – Submission Style!” The crowd cheer as Edge continues: “The Anaconda Vise versus the Ankle Lock, two men who claim to be two of the very best wrestler’s on this planet. Now you’ll both really have a chance at showing the world what you got. You got your match Kurt!” Angle is happy enough and so are the fans. JR and Regal can’t believe it. JR: “A Submission match between Kurt Angle and CM Punk at SummerSlam?! What a treat!” Regal: “Blimey, that’s mouth-watering for a wrestling purist. That’s going to be an amazing match Jim!” JR: “So will you get off Edge’s back now? Will you give him some credit for a change?” Regal: “Well Jim, the thought of another match was actually Kurt’s idea. But a Submission match, I’ll give Edge that. Bravo GM, bravo.”

We go to a video package relaying all of what went down on last week’s edition of Wednesday Night Turmoil. The rundown to SummerSlam began with Christopher Daniels competing with a returning Evan Bourne in a qualifying match for the Ultimate-X X-Division Title match set for SummerSlam. We saw Women’s Champion AJ Lee in action against the British Invasion’s Layla. The Dudley Boyz had a warning for Edge, but that led to the GM being pushed over the limit – so far in fact that he sent Panther out to track down Remy LeBeau. Yes, that very Remy LeBeau of Why So Serious. The Hart Dynasty returned to compete, but they lost in a battle against Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan. Christian Cage ‘offered’ up an impromptu Intercontinental Title match to Eric Young and of course as we have already covered, the main event was CM Punk versus Chris Jericho. To recap all the details and Read the full show, click HERE and enjoy last week’s Turmoil!

“Oooohhhhh Yeaaahhhh!” says Jay Lethal as we are backstage with KWF interviewer Jeremy Borash. Lethal is happy and excited as he holds the X-Division Championship for the first time ever here on KWF Blogs. JB: “Jay Lethal congratulations on your victory at Sovereignty 4. It’s been a long ride for you on KWF Blogs. You’d been a Tag Team Champion with Gambit before he defected to go team with that nut Joker Hardy. Then you’d continued to entertain the world on House Shows and various Live events, quietly going about your business as a member of the nWo Wolfpac. All of a sudden Kevin Nash was given a choice, he could stay under the old Hogan/Flair regime and risk getting fired or he could go home and get paid for it. Nash chose option B and because he left, the Wolfpac was left in tatters. You were alone and have since still continued the ‘Black Machismo’ way and Jay I gotta ask ya, after two losses to Austin Aries on Turmoil, what was your mindset going into Sovereignty 4?” Lethal in his Macho Man voice: “Well JB I’ll give you that answer in a second, but let me review memory lane for ya there yeah. Backstabbin’s happen in this industry and yeah, I been through that with friends and through mentors. But at the same time I’d continued yeah, continued to keep doing what I do in the ring and that’s what most important JB. When I got to Sovereignty 4, I went in there and I knew that I’d not held this Title in this company. It was a travesty JB! So yeah, I had two losses against Aries, but I picked myself up, I went to Canada and I blew the roof off the place because I defeated Austin Aries to become the (shouts) X-Division Championnnn!” Lethal poses a-la Macho Man and JB then asks him what he makes of the upcoming Ultimate-X match at SummerSlam, a match where Lethal will be defending the X-Division Title. Lethal says that he doesn’t even know his opponents for Ultimate-X yet, and says that it’s fitting that his first Title defense is in a match of this magnitude. He says that he’s looking forward to it and that he promises to put on a show as he defends his Championship. “I just got this Belt JB, and I ain’t lettin’ it go! C’mon Liz, let’s get outta here, oohhhhh yeeaaahhhhh!” Lethal walks off down the hall with JB left smiling remembering of course the memories of Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth.

Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

This intriguing Chicks contest gets underway, as Edge’s personal assistant Madison squares off against Miss Hardcore Country. Rayne is on top early, grounding Mickie and stomping her into the corner. Mickie is strong as she fights back out of the corner, but Madison is smart to get out of the ring and buy herself a moment’s breather. The referee keeps Mickie from chasing her out and this gives Madison the opportunity to come in and knock James down on the blindside. JR reminds us that Mickie is coming off of the back of a vicious rivalry with Melina. The two Chicks have tussled in recent weeks after Melina returned from a long injury, only to turn on her former friend due to feeling neglected and ignored during her long time on the treatment table. They had numerous scraps, including a number one contender match in which Melina won. She went on to lose to AJ at Sovereignty, and now the race for a Women’s Title shot begins all over again ahead of SummerSlam, with the winner of this one surely getting ahead of the queue. Regal points out that Madison’s ‘close connection’ to Edge already gives her spot of front runner, but JR says he’s sure the GM has more integrity than that.

The match continues in Madison’s favor, but she becomes increasingly frustrated because she can’t keep Mickie down for a Three-count. Madison trash-talks throughout, yelling at Mickie, but James comes back into the match with bursts of forearms, a clothesline, another clothesline and then as Madison tries to back her into the corner, Mickie counters with her trademark headscissors after letting go of the top ropes. Mickie gets up to raise her arm to the crowd, before going for a Mickie-DT. However, as she does, Madison rolls her into a small package, getting a near fall. They both get up at the same time and run at one another. Madison goes for an Irish whip into the corner, but Mickie reverses it, and Rayne slams face first into the top turnbuckle. She holds her nose as the referee checks on her. She seems to think it’s broken, so the referee tells Mickie to hold off while he checks on her opponent. Mickie doesn’t look pleased, but stands off. Just then, there’s boos from the crowd as Melina races down to the ring. She grabs Mickie by the leg and pulls her out, before hitting her with a faceplant DDT right onto the arena floor. She quickly picks James up and rolls her back into the ring, before hiding by the steps. The referee has decided Madison is fine to continue, and they both see Mickie lying there. Madison doesn’t appear to know what’s happened, but goes for the pin, and the referee counts Three.

Winner: Madison Rayne.

♫Madison Rayne’s music♫ «< click to play) hits and she exits the ring to celebrate up the ramp. Melina slides into the ring and a groggy Mickie gets to her feet, only to be floored once again by the vicious Melina, as she grabs her and puts her down with a Primal Scream. She then lets out an actual scream of delight as she lays in the ring with a hellcat-like look on her face and her leg across the throat of Mickie. JR and Regal both reflect. JR: “She’s got no business out here, this match didn’t concern her and she’s already defeated Mickie. Is that not enough? What more does she want out of Mickie James?” Regal: “Oh Jim, you know all women are jealous of each other. Melina didn’t want James to have the spotlight and so she costs her the match. She was smart not to cost Madison the match because Ms Rayne is assistant to the GM. What’s for sure though, is that this hatred between Mickie and Melina is not over.” JR finishes: “It was over for Mickie, but apparently, Melina still has an axe to grind. God, she’s so vindictive.”

We cut to a video, where Panther is in his house packing a bag. There is a cameraman visible in the mirror opposite. Panther: “Dude, move to the left… tit.” He then addresses the camera. “Hey KWF fans, Panther here. As you all saw last week, Edge has sent me on a quest. I still don’t agree with it, but he’s my boy, and my boss, and so here I am, getting ready to find a man they call Remy LeBeau, or Gambit to most. What you may not know is that me and Remy go way back. I remember him before the KWF. He was a bit of a loner, never wanting to be in a crowd and always seemingly in one place. I met him in New York, at a small bar and we became friends over a Celtics Knicks game. I was new to the States and he put me up for a few weeks while I got settled. We bonded and a trust formed, you know, as it does between friends. Since then both of us had gone a long way, on different paths to get to the KWF and we’re not particularly close anymore, but we’ve always at least been on talking terms. Now I’ve just had my heart broken, as you all know, losing Kaitlyn to that pratt King Dolph. Remy’s a narcissistic, kleptomaniacal, pathological, adrenaline-addicted, anti-authority, reckless militant psychopath. Living the dream, make sure you eat your vitamins and say your prayers kids. Anyway, I’m ready to leave, now I just need to know where the hell I’m going. In spy school, and by spy school, I mean I watched the Bourne movies back to back, no sign of his brother Evan either. Anyway, I learned that the best way to locate someone, is to give them a ring.” Panther gets his cellphone out and calls Gambit. We can hear it ringing. A voice answers: “Hello?” Panther: “Hey, who’s this?” Voice: “Bobby.” Panther: “Where’s Remy?” Bobby: “Who?” Panther: “Gambit” Bobby: “Who?” Panther sighs “Look, who the hell are you and where is the guy who’s phone you’re holding?” Bobby: “Err, well to be honest, I found this phone a couple of weeks ago, I guess you’re looking for the guy who dropped it.” Panther: “Dropped it?” Bobby: “Yeah, I found it in a bar.” Panther: “And you didn’t think to hand it in to the police?” Bobby: “Well, it’s a nice phone.” Panther: “Fair enough. Look you might still be able to help me, where are you right now?” Bobby: “At home” Panther: “No you cock, what city?” Bobby: “Oh, New Orleans.” Panther hangs up. He says to the cameraman “Bobby says hi” before looking at the camera and saying “Looks like we’re off to New Orleans, Remy’s hometown. It’s rocket science this detective lark.” He grabs the bag and heads out the door as the video fades out.

We come back from commercials, just in time to see the lights go out. We then see a lights display in the shape of a jacket, and the pyro’s explode and the ♫music hits♫ «< click to play) as we welcome the new KWF World Champion Chris Jericho to the ring. He is in his flashy jacket and jeans, with the Belt around his waist. He has a mic in hand and after eventually entering the ring, he waits for the fans to stop chanting ‘Y2J!’ It is clear on his face that he has nothing but contempt for his fans, and tells them so. The booing soon chimes in. “Go ahead boo me, boo the great Chris Jericho, boo the KWF World Heavyweight Champion. But feel honored as well. Feel honored that I have decided to appear here tonight in Johnson City. That’s actually a fitting name for this place, because since I’ve arrived, all I’ve seen is wieners.” The fans boo, but Regal laughs his head off. “He’s right, this arena is full of wieners, including you Jim.” JR: “How dare you.” Jericho goes on to reiterate how at Sovereignty, he proved himself to be the smartest man alive. “Nobody has ever cashed in Money in the Bank during a Title match, but I read the small print, and I took my opportunity. It was academic of course, because I could have beaten AJ Styles or Rob Van Dam even if they’d been at 100%, but…” ♫You think you know me!♫ «< click to play) the music of the KWF General Manager hits, and Edge makes his way to the ring. The fans cheer, as Jericho looks annoyed at his former foe’s interruption. Before Edge can talk, Jericho says “So, come down here to tell the world what a travesty it was that I won at Sovereignty, how I don’t deserve this Belt, how it eats you up inside that I, Chris Jericho, am your KWF World Heavyweight Champion?” Edge smirks and says: “Actually, no. I couldn’t care less that you’re Champion. Despite being a massive tool, you have an awful lot of fans, and while it wasn’t how I imagined it, you cashing in your Money in the Bank briefcase during the main event of the KWF’s anniversary pay-per-view, well, I’ve been told by more than one fan that it was the best ending to a KWF pay-per-view since it began. So thanks bud, I’ll take credit for that.” Jericho shakes his head as the crowd chuckle. Edge goes on: “However, as Champion, you are now a target. And I know two guys who have you in their sights, so AJ Styles, Rob Van Dam, come on down!!!” ♫Get Ready to Fly!♫ «< click to play) the music of Styles hits, and The Phenomenal One enters. JR says with excitement that Turmoil continues after this short break.

When we return, Rob Van Dam is heading to the ring. The three superstars and the GM stand in the ring, with Edge in the middle of the three. He gets straight into things, and says that in just two and a half weeks, we have SummerSlam, and we need a KWF Title match. He states that clearly AJ and RVD have the best shout of anyone for a match, and he asks them to put forth their argument as to why it should be them who takes on Y2J in the Staples Center. JR points out that AJ does not have the rematch clause to fall back on, as the contract he signed for the Sovereignty Title match didn’t have Jericho’s name on it, so his victory meant all the terms and conditions were null and void because his Title match at the time was against RVD. However, Edge is understandably giving him a chance to argue his case because he was never pinned or had never tapped out to lose the Title. AJ says that he’s been denied an automatic rematch on a technicality, and that as the previous Champion, he should be first in line to get it back. He also argues that AJ Styles versus Chris Jericho is a “booker’s wet dream, it’s a match of the year contender, and it would truly be Phenomenal!” The fans cheer as Edge seems impressed. Jericho shakes his head. It’s now RVD’s turn, and he comes in with similar reasons. He says that he had a Title shot as number one contender, and never got the chance to finish that match. He and AJ were neck and neck all the way through their epic TLC match, and the way he sees it, he’s still due a Title shot in which he is allowed to finish it against the same person he started against. He also argues that Rob Van Dam versus Chris Jericho would be a match for the ages, and again, the fans and Edge agree, and Jericho doesn’t. Before Edge can make his choice, Van Dam bizarrely changes his tune. He starts to question Edge, saying that he found it a little ‘curious’ that a fellow Canadian just happened to win the top Title, in Canada, on the biggest night in Edge’s GM career. “Edge I respect what you’ve done here. You’ve made KWF Blogs must-read every week, and we’re at a higher level than we’ve ever been before. I myself retweet on behalf of this company. But you and Jericho, with the history you have, I’m wondering if the whole TLC ending and Jericho’s appearance was a set-up? A set-up that only an ultimate opportunist like yourself could ever think of. Now you would never orchestrate anything like that would you Edge? We’ve already had backstabbing GM’s in this company, we don’t need another one.” Edge doesn’t look happy with Van Dam’s accusations, saying that if it weren’t for the KWF Wellness Policy, he’d swear RVD was back on the exotic cigarettes. He says that for the majority of his career, he despised Chris Jericho, but as he’s already stated, he doesn’t care who the Champion is as long as they’ve earned it. “It could be you, him (AJ) or him (Jericho) and these fans would love it. They love great wrestlers, and so you know what? At SummerSlam it will be Chris Jericho versus… The Phenomenal AJ Styles!!!” The fans cheer, although we hear some boos, and RVD shaking his head and shouting “That’s bullsh*t!” Edge stares straight at him before adding “… versus The Whole F’n Show, Rob Van Dam! Triple Threat!!!” Now the whole arena erupts, and AJ and Van Dam seem happy, but the Champ is very much not. He kicks the ropes and yells at Edge: “What the hell is wrong with you?!” Edge replies: “Chris, did you really think you could do what you did at Sovereignty and not face repercussions? Note for the future ‘Junior’, when you want to screw somebody over, its easier if you make sure its just the one guy.” Edge goes on to clarify the more immediate future. He announces that over the next three shows, including tonight, AJ Styles, RVD and Chris Jericho will each pick an opponent for one another, and those matches will be our main events. “Tonight it is going to be Rob Van Dam in the main event, and picking his opponent, well seeing as you’ve had very little in the way of good news tonight, Chris, you will decide who Rob will be facing.” Jericho finally has something to smile about, as ♫Edge’s music♫ «< click to play) hits and he exits the ring. The three men left just look at one another, with Jericho smiling at Van Dam, telling him he’s in for one hell of a night tonight.

The Bucks & Styler vs. Justin Gabriel, Low-ki & Amazing Red – Ultimate-X qualifier

JR: “We’re back Live on Wednesday Night Turmoil ladies and gentlemen, what a night it has been already and now our hearts will skip an extra beat as we watch some high-flying high octane X-Division action! The winners of this bout will all qualify for the Ultimate-X X-Division Title match at SummerSlam!” The comms tell that Justin Gabriel is another to return in somewhat of a long line of returnees to KWF Blogs. JR: “The Hart Dynasty and Evan Bourne returned last week. Justin Gabriel’s back tonight and of course we know that Edge has sent Panther out to find Gambit so that he can bring Why So Serious back to the Keystone Wrestling Federation. I wonder who else Edge has up his sleeve?” Regal: “Forget all that for now Jim. I’m wondering about the match at hand. How can you have a six-man tag that leads to one entire team to qualify for Ultimate-X? I mean, it’s every man for himself at SummerSlam, there’ll be no teamwork involved.” JR: “You’re right about the pay-per-vew Mister Regal, but this is Edge’s style of managing KWF Blogs. He gives us the very best sports entertainment he can, and there’s not any better action in the world than a six-man X-Division tag.” The contest indeed lives up to it’s promise, but Styler cannot seem to get on with The Bucks. Red, Low-ki and Gabriel all have their moments on top, but The Bucks do well as a unit to target and ground the returning Gabriel. Styler blind-tags himself in after a double-team and he goes to cover Gabriel to get the victory, but no, Red and Low-ki are in and all hell breaks loose. The contest spills to ringside where we watch Amazing Red flip-dive over the top rope to land square on Max Buck at ringside. Meanwhile Styler is in trouble and Low-ki’s legal now. Styler wants a tag, but Jeremy Buck doesn’t reach out. Low-ki gets set for Warrior’s Way, but can’t perform the move as Jeremy knocks the ropes so that Low-ki’s unbalanced. Styler uses this opportunity to get up and he goes to yell at Jeremy for not tagging him. They argue, but then as Low-ki tags Gabriel back in we watch Styler tag Jeremy with a punch to the face! The crowd boo as JR says that this match has been spoil. Jeremy Buck is then hip-tossed into the ring by Styler and Justin Gabriel waits as Jeremy gets up and *BAM* he catches him straight in the jaw with a Discus elbow smash! Jeremy goes down and Gabriel tags Amazing Red who goes to the top turnbuckle. Gabriel then chases Styler at ringside, Low-ki keeps tabs on Max but the ending is picture perfect as Red performs Infrared (540 corkscrew senton bomb) to get the crowd pleasing ‘One!’ ‘Two!’ ‘Three!’

Winners: Amazing Red, Low-ki and Justin Gabriel.

The fans cheer the finish as Red, Low-ki and Gabriel raise their arms. They’re all going to SummerSlam and all look at one another knowing that they’ll be competing for the ultimate X-Division prize at Ultimate-X. The comms review multiple replays of the match as Regal says that once again it has been that a British Invasion member has disappointed and not gotten the desired result. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again Jim, I can’t wait for Wade Barrett to come back and sort the Brits out.”

We are backstage in the Kingdom (dressing room) of King Dolph and Queen Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn is facing away from the King with her arms folded. He says “Come on Kaitlyn, don’t be like this. I told you, I have forgiven you for your act of treason last week. It was understandable, you missed that furball you used to hang out with, but he’s gone, out of here. You’re the Queen of the KWF now, and as King, I can give you everything you’ve ever dreamt of.” She still doesn’t look impressed, so he goes off camera, and comes back in with a posh handbag. “A new bag?” She takes it and looks inside. “There’s no cheetos in here” and she tosses it away. Ziggler heads off and comes back again with a necklace. She tries to wrap it around her leg, but can’t. “Doesn’t fit” and she throws it away. Dolph looks frustrated, but eventually comes back with a pair of shoes. Her face lights up: “Oh wow, they’re perfect. How did you know?” Dolph smiles as she takes he shoe. She removes one from the box, before using it to squish a bug on the wall. “That thing has been annoying me for hours, I hate bugs” she says, looking directly at Dolph, who’s face has dropped again and he storms off in a huff and a puff. Kaitlyn sighs deeply and looks no closer to enjoying being Dolph’s Queen.

Elsewhere backstage, Intercontinental Champion Christian is heading away from the car park. He stops as we see he has been approached by Eric Young. EY shakes his hand and thanks him for the chance he gave him at the Title last week. “It was a dream come true Christian, and as the new Intercontinental Champion, I would like to say hard luck, but whenever you want your rematch, I’m ready!” We see he has another Intercontinental Belt over his shoulder, but it’s far smaller than Cage’s. Christian looks confused, and says “Err, maybe that KillSwitch scrambled your already broken brain, I beat you last week Eric, that’s why I have the ‘real’ Title over my shoulder.” EY looks puzzled himself. “You did? Then where the hell did I get this?” Christian looks down and sees a crying child, who Young clearly took the Belt from. He rolls his eyes and goes to walk in the other direction, but Edge is standing right there. “Hey buddy, (in his best Bill Lumbergh voice) what’s happening?” Christian says that he knows what Edge is going to say, and gets his argument in first. He says that he’s doing great things in terms of promoting the KWF by inviting random superstars to the ring for Title matches. “I am being a fighting Champion, which is more than I can say for anyone else around here.” Edge tells him that he’s the GM of the KWF, and so Christian is no longer going to be throwing any random Title defenses at him anymore. “Come SummerSlam, you WILL be in a match, and you will defend that Intercontinental Title. But the best thing is, you won’t know who your opponent is until you hear his music hit.” Cage argues that this doesn’t make business sense because Edge can’t advertise the IC Title match without telling people who Cage is going to face. Edge says “On the contrary, if people know that you’ll be there, and that there’s a mystery opponent to beat on you… I mean take you on, then I’m sure our fans will be just as intrigued as you are.” Edge smiles and exits, leaving a concerned Captain Charisma in his wake.

Walking the halls we see Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan. They look set for action and we hear Bryan tell Joe that if they can get another win under their Belts then Edge may consider giving them a second chance at the Tag Team Titles. Bryan: “This whole hoopla behind Why So Serious coming back, I don’t want it to happen, no one does, but we gotta show that we can win those Belts.” Joe nods in agreement. Bryan goes on: “We both know what to do in that ring, we’re masters of this game. I’m positive that Edge will give us another chance.” Joe and Bryan get set for their entrances as the comms tell that up next it’s Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan against the Latin American eXchange!

Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan vs. LAX

The bell rings and we are underway for what should be an outstanding Tag Team match-up. The comms review Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan’s loss against The Dudleys at Sovereignty 4 and they highlight the fact that it was Joe and Bryan’s lack of in-ring cohesiveness that cost them against the legends that are The Dudley Boyz. JR: “Indeed they’re legends, having held Tag Team Gold in every company they’re been in and not to mention holding the KWF World Tag Championships for almost a year on KWF Blogs. The Dudleys’ run has been incredible, but they’ve taken short-cuts, they’ve broken rules and I for one would love to see Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan build their camaraderie and perhaps challenge The Dudleys for those Belts again.” Regal: “Haha, Jim it’s a part of the art of Tag Team wrestling that you do break the rules, you do use the referee’s blind-side to your advantage and you certainly do whatever it takes to make sure that you win. Tag Team wrestling is always high stakes because you’re relying on a partner to watch your back. You’re also at the top of your own game because you know that if you make a mistake then not only do you suffer, then your partner will suffer too. This is part of the reason why Joe and Bryan didn’t win at Sovereignty 4. Heck, it’s why Edge is trying to get Jeff Hardy back in this company because he feels it’s Hardy who knows The Dudleys best. I tell you though, Bubba and Devon are in the form of their lives and it’s going to take a mammoth effort to defeat them.” The term ‘mammoth effort’ has turned out to describe what’s come of this match for Joe and Bryan. Again their lack of teamwork has cost them and while they did well initially as individuals, LAX have simply been the better unit and so win the match with Hernandez Border Tossing Daniel Bryan before picking up the victory.

Winners: Homicide and Hernandez, LAX.

It was a very work-man like effort from LAX, performing well as a tag team to ensure they won the match. Joe looks at Bryan on the canvas after having lost the match. He goes to help him up and Regal says that Joe and Bryan had gotten ahead of themselves and perhaps tried too hard in this match. “But you do learn more from losses than victories. I gather that Joe and Bryan have learnt that they aren’t a proper team yet and so it’ll probably be a while until they challenge The Dudleys again.” JR says that they’re not far off, but LAX’s tag team experience proved superior on this night.

We see a close-up of two female faces. As we zoom out we see that it’s Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, The Beautiful People, doing their make-up. They’re sat at a mirror and they have a selection of make-up in front of them, but soon a volley-ball splats onto their table and their powders/foundations and creams go everywhere! The camera zooms out further and it’s revealed that this make-up unit is on a beach. We watch as Edge’s Personal Assistant Madison Rayne walks past The Beautiful People laughing. She’s wearing a bikini and as she walks along the beach she says that KWF’s SummerSlam will be an event never to be forgotten. On the beach in the background we watch as various X-Division superstars seem to be playing beach soccer. Madison looks out to the sea where AJ Styles is on a boogey-board. The beach scene becomes busier and busier and soon all the fun turns into a good old fashioned brawl – one which happens to lead to Madison’s bikini bra to be slipped off! Finally we see KWF General Manager Edge in a beach chair. He has sunglasses on and he’s watching his locker-room trash the beach. He sips from his drink and smiles at the camera: “Join us for SummerSlam folks. August 19th 2012 – only at KWF Blogs!” The scene fades out to Madison Rayne covering her private parts and Edge asking her for a re-fill.

We’re up in the GM’s Skybox and we see that Alex Shelley is in there talking to Edge. Shelley says that he and Chris Sabin never got a chance at The Dudleys’ for the Tag Titles. “Chris came back for all of three matches before getting injured again. And I know I’ve still got options in the X-Division, but please, Edge, can you allow me to find a partner? An honorary Machine Gun?  Let me and my partner have the next shot at The Dudleys, a shot that Sabin and I never got.” Edge thinks for a moment and Madison Rayne comes onto the scene saying that this isn’t a bad idea. Edge thinks out loud: “I don’t know how long it’s going to be before Panther finds Gambit. And Gambit’s then gotta find Hardy and everyone else so, I don’t know.” Madison: “The Dudleys have to compete due to that thirty-day Title ruling.” Edge: “That’s right. (He looks at Shelley and puts out his hand to shake) Okay, Alex, you’re on. Find a partner and the two of you can take on The Dudleys at SummerSlam.” Shelley shakes his hand: “That’s great Edge, thanks a lot man. And you know, if and when we win, you may not have to call back Why So Serious anyway.” Edge: “Yeah well, we’ll see.” Shelley: “I’m serious man. Getting those guys back in here is a bad idea. They brought about things like Joker’s Playground matches, thumbtacks, two-by-fours with nails in’m. They’re dangerous and unpredictable.” Edge: “I know I know, I’ve heard this all week. Just go find a partner. You have my permission, so you can go.” Shelley leaves and Edge shakes his head as he turns to sit down. Madison sits on his lap and Edge lays his head back and closes his eyes while Madison massages his head.

♫Rob Van Dam!… The Whole F’n Show!♫ «< click to play) RVD enters to a big cheer from the crowd. He doesn’t look too concerned, but Regal argues that he should be due to not knowing who Jericho has chosen to be his opponent tonight. “That’s a huge disadvantage for RVD. The key to wrestling is preparation, but that’s not possible if you have no idea who you’re up against.” The comms converse about RVD’s accusations against Edge. JR says that Edge was as shocked as anyone that Jericho showed up at Sovereignty, but Regal says: “Edge has had a very successful career in the wrestling industry and as a General Manager his success is booming to levels that I never thought he’d reach. He was surprised at Jericho’s appearance, but I wouldn’t put what Mister Van Dam suggested past him. Edge is a very clever man, even I’ll admit that.” Van Dam warms up in the ring as he waits. Justin Roberts announces: “And his opponent…” ♫Wellll… it’s the Big Show!♫ «< click to play).

Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show

Van Dam looked a little alarmed as the dominant Hardcore Champion stomped his way to the ring. JR: “I suppose we should have known Jericho would pick his former Tag Team partner, especially given how unstoppable he has been since he beat Samoa Joe for that Hardcore Belt.” Regal: “Absolutely Jim. Big Show is in the form of his life, and RVD will do well to come out of this one still intact. I don’t think a win should necessarily be what Van Dam’s first option should be.” RVD clearly doesn’t feel the same thought as he starts this main event fearless, firing kicks at Show, but he soon gets swatted away. Show picks Van Dam up by the hair, but gets hit with fists now, as RVD then runs against the ropes and goes for a spinning heel kick, but Show catches him and downs him with a modified Sidewalk Slam. As the big man controls the early going, JR reminds us of the recent history of these two. Van Dam was Champion and contender for the Hardcore Title for an extended period, but after losing it, set his sights on KWF World Championship Gold. Big Show decided to enter the Hardcore Division, and after a long-running feud with Samoa Joe, emerged as the Hardcore Champion, and has held the Title for several months now, seeing off numerous challengers. “Mick Foley keeps coming up with new contenders, and Show keeps knocking them out of the park, almost literally.” JR also mentions how these two battled as part of a Tag match on Turmoil just a few weeks ago, with RVD threatening Show with a ladder, despite it not being a no-DQ match. JR: “Big Show must’ve salivated at getting his hands on RVD in this match, his self status right now is as high as it’s ever been. I agree with you William, it may not be smart for RVD to go for it here. He needs to be a hundred percent for SummerSlam, his second chance at the KWF World Championship.” Regal: “I’ve loved the dominance of Big Show and what’s brilliant is that he doesn’t even need weapons. I mean look at the size of this man, he’s swatting Van Dam down as if he were a fly.” Back to the action, and Van Dam has attempted to fight back, but it always seems futile as he does little damage to Show, and the World’s Largest Athlete goes back to punishing him, hitting open palmed chops across the chest and the crowd boo as Show tells them to shut up.

Regal comments on how the KWF Champion Chris Jericho, and even AJ Styles to some extent, must be watching this backstage and rubbing their hands with glee, seeing Van Dam be picked apart. He also shows off his memory, and after congratulating the WWE on its 1000^th episode of Raw, he tells us that he remembers when these two faced off on Raw in 2001, ironically for the Hardcore Title. “Van Dam was successful that night, but I get the feeling that eleven years later, he won’t be this time round.” Show has RVD in the corner and is firing rights into his torso, before a headbutt sends Van Dam down. Show then grabs Van Dam by the head and pulls him up to his feet. Before going for the WMD. As he swings, Van Dam ducks and hits a spinning wheel kick, sending Show sprawling against the ropes. He gets tied up in them, and can’t move. Van Dam sees this, and the crowd’s volume level rises as he comes off the far ropes and hits a dropkick right into Show’s midriff. The official is desperately trying to get Show free, and he does, but as Show gets to his feet, Van Dam springs off the middle rope and kicks him in the face, sending him falling onto his back. RVD then executes a perfect Rolling Thunder to get the fans roaring. He signals that it’s time to get Froggy, and heads to the top rope for the Five Star Frog Splash. He leaps off, but Show gets his boot up to block. However, Van Dam telegraphed it and landed on his feet, then uses the big leg to swivel around and hit a spinning leg drop. He heads to the outside and pulls out a steel chair, before getting back into the ring. JR: “No Rob! This is not a Hardcore match!” The referee tries to grab the chair from him, but he won’t let go. Big Show gets to his feet, sees what’s going on, and *BAM!* Hits the WMD right into the chair, sending it smashing into the face of RVD. The referee immediately calls for the bell.

Winner by way of Disqualification: Rob Van Dam.

Big Show protests the decision, as does Regal: “How can Show be disqualified? He wasn’t the one holding the chair!” JR: “But he’s the one who drove it into Van Dam’s face, he knew exactly what he was doing there, and he may not be done here.” Show pushes the ref out of the way, before picking up the chair, and then cracking it across the back of Van Dam, who screams out in pain. JR: “This is exactly what RVD did not need. The World’s Largest Athlete with a steel chair in hand, someone needs to put a stop to this!” Then ♫music hits♫ «< click to play), but it’s not what JR or the fans wanted to hear, it’s Chris Jericho. He comes down to the ring smiling, as Show drops the chair, and between them, the duo formerly known as ‘JeriShow’ in WWE proceed to stomp at Van Dam. They beat him down together, as the fans chant AJ Styles’ name. JR: “Come on, someone help RVD, he’s getting pulverized here.” Then some more music hits: ♫It’s a shame that they lost their head, a careless man could wind up dead!♫ «< click to play). “It’s Sheamus!” yells JR. Regal: “What’s he doing here? He’s got no part in this!” The Celtic Warrior races to the ring and starts pounding on Big Show, before impressively clotheslining him over the top rope. A shocked Jericho goes to hit a Codebreaker on the Irishman, but he catches him and throws him over the top rope onto Show. The crowd go wild, but no-one, not even Van Dam, knows why Sheamus is out here. He helps RVD to his feet, and he’s surprised to see him. JR and Regal are equally bemused. JR: “Well someone needed to save RVD, but I can’t make that connection, why Sheamus? I mean he’s a good guy, but putting himself up against two Champions like that? I tip my hat to him.” Regal: “Bizarre indeed, but even more noteworthy, where is AJ Styles? I know him and RVD haven’t exactly been friends lately, but you would think he’d have done the honorable thing and helped him out here, or was he enjoying seeing him get beaten down? Hmmm.” JR: “Either way it was Sheamus to the rescue, hopefully we’ll find out just why next week. Be sure to join us then folks. We hope you’ve enjoyed yet another action packed edition of Turmoil. Make sure you tell your friends, retweet us, tell us your opinions on the show and most of all, enjoy reading the longest running weekly episodic literary wrestling blog in existence. Goodnight from Johnson City!” We fade out on RVD offering his hand to Sheamus, who shakes it, while a confused Jericho and Big Show look on from the ramp.